The Serious Talk: Confidence Issues

Everyone know's a girl who's always in the back, alone and doesn't really talk. Well, that was definitely not me but that doesn't mean I was confident or I am. I have my own struggles in life even though loads of people think I don't.

I imagined my life a lot more different when I was younger. I thought at the age of 23 I will have a loving boyfriend, a career in fashion and maybe a house, a flat. I thought I will travel the world but here I am 23 struggling to get a degree in a field I don't want to be in. In a subject, I'm not passionate about and I definitely don't want to work in.

Sometimes I wonder is there a way out?! Will I ever reach my dreams? Will I ever be that person I dreamt of? 

I don't know yet but what is certain in my life that I need a change. I need to grow some balls and be the person I always wanted to be. I let too many people take part in my decisions and that shall end now.

Going back to my main subject, confidence... well this little story above really says it all. I am not confident at all. At least a little bit when it comes to fashion and blogging. I am confident because I know these parts well and I am passionate about these things. In other areas, I am not. I'm sometimes afraid trying new things because I'm scared to fail. But why? Failing is crucial to grow. Everyone failed at some point in their life. Me too, but I failed too many times that I don't want it anymore. You know, I consider myself a really emotional person. After failing to maintain a relationship with someone I really cared about and failed to follow my dreams you can say I pretty much let myself down and lost that little confidence I had.

This blog is a place where I can embrace myself but again worrying tries to destroy everything I built here. I want my blog to reach more people, I want to help people who are in the same boat as me. How can I do it without growing my following? I can't. Especially since I renamed my blog to my birth name. Quite funny but I still haven't shown the blog to my family. Some of my friends know about it but I haven't got the nerve to share it on Facebook.

You know where I come from, I don't know... even people my age would laugh at me for having a blog. They would say that I do it for the money or because I want to get famous from it. You know jealousy comes first, but the truth is I don't. I do it because I love to have a little corner in this huge world to myself where I share my own opinion on relevant stuff.
Of course, it would be amazing to earn money from the thing I am passionate about but it's not the first.

My advice? 

Do not let anyone take your confidence away. Do not ever listen to jealous people who try to bring you down. I let too many people make me think that I am useless and worthless and it's not true. Here I am writing on my own page which hit 15k views a few days ago. I am definitely not useless.
Think about that way. You might don't get a degree or follow the path that your parents showed you but that will be the real YOU. The person who is confident in her body, in her life.
I guess you don't want to wake up everyday with 'what ifs' racing in your mind. Do what make you happy even if it is the hardest way. I almost gave up my dreams and it's been hell for years struggling to find my way back.

If you ever feel bad about yourself or you need someone who you can talk to honestly, DM me on Twitter or Instagram or you can even send me an e-mail. I'm happy to help.

Do you consider yourself confident? How long it took you to be confident as a blogger? What did your friends and family say about blogging?

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