Sorry, I'm Busy Dating Myself

I'm 23, an adult so it's kind of expected to have a boyfriend at this age. Whenever I see a long-lost friend of Mum I always, every time get the annoying question. Do you have a boyfriend? Oh, please... Sorry, but I'm busy dating myself. I'm busy making a career and being my best self. I don't have time for childish and unserious boys who don't know what the hell they want. I have enough of being in doubt, I have enough of being the stupid and naive one in a relationship. So no, I don't have a boyfriend and guess what, I'm proud and happy to be single.

Come on, it's 2017 why is it still an expectation for girls to have a relationship in their twenties?! Why we can't be happy without men? Of course, we can. Why is bad that we choose career over boyfriend? It's absolutely not. I rather be alone than in a toxic relationship.

I always felt embarrassed when they asked me if I was in a relationship or not. I felt weird and an outcast and sometimes I wondered is there something wrong with me? I mean I had my first relationship when I was 19 and I have to tell you there was a huge pressure on me. All my friends had their first boyfriends years before me and I really thought a lot that I'm not good enough, I'm ugly and just no one likes me. In reality, I am very picky... way too much. But now I'm 23 and I understand that we don't always need someone by our sides, romantically. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend does not define us.

How can you spend quality time alone?

Many think they need someone else to have a good time but I always say if you're truly comfortable with yourself and your life, you will find the peace and quietness calming rather than overwhelming.

Perks of dating yourself is you can start doing it right now. Turn on a great music and relax a little bit as easy as it is. Dating yourself I think is the best thing you can do to yourself.

As I mentioned I had my ups and downs before, I read many motivational, self-help books which I don't want to run them down but they are all the same just with different stories which seriously doesn't help us. I talk from experience, I read many books, I invested in self-help books a lot but at the end, it hasn't motivated me enough to start doing the right thing. I knew deep down that I needed a change but still reading all those things... they weren't enough motivation. So I'm telling you to spend time with yourself first. Invest in yourself rather than in books which just show you some path to follow or where to start but it won't have an effect as huge as a real life situation on you.
Dating yourself is a way to find your motivation and path in life. I found blogging which grew out to be one of my biggest passion and which I am truly proud of.

Also, I started cooking more seriously. Watch out for recipes in the future. It's a great way to relax at the end of the day and not to mention you can get to eat the result. I often experiment with special cuisines and I love to explore different tastes and substances.
If you're not good at cooking then just visit your favourite restaurant and have a nice evening. It's really not embarrassing eating alone, you get to visit places you want. You don't have to show attention to anyone. A movie night is another great way to spend time alone. I love to travel alone or just exploring the city's hidden parts. Sometimes it's such a shame no one can take cool photos of me but it's really amazing to find something on your own.

You can be whole in a relationship only when you're confident and in love with yourself. While you're single take the time and get to know yourself. Explore what you like and where you find happiness and when you find someone special it will be everything much easier.
You may think being alone s*cks I hope after this post you'll realise that being single has so many options I can't count. Of course, it can't replace the feeling when sometimes waits for you at home after work but it's definitely not the end of the world. It's just up to you if you see the single life as an adventure or not. It can be tough but also the happiest and memorable years of your life.

How do you cope with being single? What do you like to do alone?



  1. I loved this and everything you're saying is so true. I've always said that I'd rather focus on my career than have someone holding me back, someone who in two or three years time, I might not want to be with anymore!♡ Meg x

  2. I loved this and everything you're saying is so true. I've always said that I'd rather focus on my career than have someone holding me back, someone who in two or three years time, I might not want to be with anymore!♡ Meg x

  3. Lovely post! So confident. I love it. Although I'm in a relationship, I completely agree with you boo. Keep doing things you love!❤️

  4. I agree with all of this! And I went through the same thing of reading a bunch of self help and inspirational books and I felt the exact same way! That I needed to just get out there and stop reading about change and actually take action. I have a boyfriend now, but it's so different from the others in the past where I lost who I was. My boyfriend now supports every single thing I want to do with my life and doesn't hold me back from any of it. But it took a lot of soul searching and experiencing life to get to where I am now. Still learning every day, but we all definitely need to remind ourselves of these things in this post! You have to be whole on your own before getting into a relationship so you're two whole people coming together rather than two people trying to find themselves and their happiness in each other! Amazing post. I absolutely loved it 😊

    1. Thank you. I'm glad you liked the post and I'm happy that you found someone you can count on and that you found your path. Hope I'll find someone too.

      Dominika x


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